Archive for September, 2012

“Stud Rooster” (reprint from Facebook post)

September 19, 2012 Leave a comment

“from friend Ladydianna Heinz”: 


Time for a break……. A Story for my friends:



A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, 


‘OK old fart, Time for you to retire.’

The old rooster replies, ‘Come on, surely you cannot handle

ALL of these chickens.

Look what it has done to me

Can’t you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?’

The young rooster says,

‘Beat it: You are washed up

and I am taking over.’

The old rooster says,

‘I tell you what, young stud.

I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop.’

The young rooster laughs.

‘You know you don’t stand a chance, old man.

So, just to be fair,

I will give you a head start.’


The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him.

They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap.


He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast!

The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by.

The Old Rooster is squawking

and running as hard as he can.


The Farmer grabs his shotgun and – BOOM – he blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, ‘Dammit….. third gay rooster I bought this month.’


Moral of this

story? …..

Don’t mess with the OLD Farts –

age, skill, wisdom, and a little treachery always overcome youth and arrogance!”


I Won An Apple!!!

September 19, 2012 Leave a comment

Now isn’t this the strangest radio contest ever?!

I was listening to 107.7 The Bone, and they were doing a contest.  

In an attempt to ride the wave of Apple announcements (new iPhone 5, new iPods, etc) they decided to give away Apples.  The radio station claims that they can’t afford to give away Apple devices as prizes, but that sounds like bunk.  LOL  What radio station gives prizes for anything less than the value of concert tickets!?  They say it is in fact the kind you eat (so maybe Granny Smith or Red Delicious apple).


They collected my contact info and told me the earliest I could pick it up would be this Thursday.  I made arrangements for a friend to pick it up for me.  That’s the other thing…you could probably pick up a load of apples form a local farmers market in SF.  Why the delay? Why wait until Thursday to pick it up?

This is cracking me up.  I hope they’re really pulling my leg, and that they’re actually giving away an Apple consumer device, but who knows?!  If it really is just an apple, the kind you eat, then it could potentially make the radio station look bad.  Sure it’s a cute idea, but I mean, if you  run a radio station and dedicate the resources to doing a full-fledged contests where listeners have to call in and be Caller # such-and-such, is it really worth it to force your listeners to make the effort to come all the way down to their studio for an apple? And if you’re taking public transit it’s going to cost more for you to get to the studio than the value of the apple?!

What To Do? Looking forward to a TSA Scan

September 19, 2012 Leave a comment

I’ve got a bit of a dilemma and I’m hoping my WordPress pals can lend their sage advice. 

I’ll be going on a trip soon and since I’ll be taking a plane I’ll need to go through the TSA Security Gates. Do I:

1) Moonwalk through the metal detector?

2) Request to be scanned in the new fancy new machine that I guess blows air at you and X-rays your private parts at the same time, then ask them to give me a copy of the x-ray so I can post it to Facebook and WordPress?

…or 3) Decline the fancy new scanner and opt instead for the physical pat down. Then, while being patted down, be it by a male or a female, re-enact the Meg Ryan restaurant scene in the movie, “When Harry Met Sally”

Thanks, in advance, for your crucial feedback.

A sweet lesson on patience. (source unknown, found and shared on Facebook)

September 14, 2012 Leave a comment

A sweet lesson on patience.  (source unknown, found and shared on Facebook)

A NYC Taxi driver wrote:

I arrived at the address and honked the horn. After waiting a few minutes I honked again. Since this was going to be my last ride of my shift I thought about just driving away, but instead I put the car in park and walked up to the door and knocked.. ‘Just a minute’, answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across

the floor.

After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90’s stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940’s movie.

By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets.

There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard
box filled with photos and glassware.

‘Would you carry my bag out to the car?’ she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman.

She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.

She kept thanking me for my kindness. ‘It’s nothing’, I told her.. ‘I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother to be treated.’

‘Oh, you’re such a good boy, she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address and then asked, ‘Could you drive
through downtown?’

‘It’s not the shortest way,’ I answered quickly..

‘Oh, I don’t mind,’ she said. ‘I’m in no hurry. I’m on my way to a hospice.

I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. ‘I don’t have any family left,’ she continued in a soft voice..’The doctor says I don’t have very long.’ I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.

‘What route would you like me to take?’ I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.

We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.

Sometimes she’d ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, ‘I’m tired.Let’s go now’.
We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.

Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move.
They must have been expecting her.

I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

‘How much do I owe you?’ She asked, reaching into her purse.

‘Nothing,’ I said

‘You have to make a living,’ she answered.

‘There are other passengers,’ I responded.

Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug.She held onto me tightly.

‘You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,’ she said. ‘Thank you.’

I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light.. Behind me, a door shut.It was the sound of the closing of a life..

I didn’t pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day,I could hardly talk.What if that woman had gotten an angry driver,or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?

On a quick review, I don’t think that I have done anything more important in my life.

We’re conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.

But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

Needy, or Greedy?

September 11, 2012 Leave a comment

Was coming out of BART in Oakland a couple weeks ago and was with a friend. We were approached by a beggar who kept asking for a handout. My friend informed him she didn’t have anything but he badgered her, insisting she must have something. She dug around her purse and found a bit of change (which is what she actually had on her at the time; I hadn’t intended to give him anything to begin with) and handed it to the beggar. He essentially spat on the gesture and as we were walking away he tossed the change on the ground.

Seriously dude? Really?! Granted it’s not near enough for you to buy more booze, drugs, cigs or give you enough to make begging a full time job, but still. Be appreciative of ANY generosity people show you. They’ll give what they can, but you’re not the only one experiencing hard times.

After he tossed her change back I took a moment to pick it back up. No way was I going to let that change go to waste. Picked up the change and gave it back to my friend.

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Great Times at OS High!

September 10, 2012 Leave a comment

Probably one of the cleanest MacOS X Installs to date! Installed 10.8.1 Mountain Lion and Migrated all my data from my other hard drive and clean, sharp and slick performance all around! Looking forward to exploring new features! And only $19.99 exactly (no tax far as I know) for a MAJOR OS Upgrade, as opposed to the competitor’s $300-350. Not only does Apple gladly let you install multiple copies of their full version of their OS on all your Macs at home, compared with Windows’ single install, it’s a better deal and more stable OS than Windows! Great job, Apple!

A Touching Story (Bust a Move or Risk Regret)

September 9, 2012 1 comment

(original author unknown)

As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called “best friend”. I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn’t notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her. She said “thanks” and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.

11th grade 
The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn’t want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said “thanks” and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why. 

Senior year 
The day before prom she walked to my locker. My date is sick” she said; he’s not going to go well, I didn’t have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as “best friends”. So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step. I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she isn’t think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said “I had the best time, thanks!” and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why. 

Graduation Day 
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn’t notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, “you’re my best friend, thanks” and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.

A Few Years Later 
Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say “I do” and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn’t see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said “you came!”. She said “thanks” and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.

Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my “best friend”. At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read: I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn’t notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love him but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me! `I wish I did too…` I thought to my self, and I cried.

Moral to this story… if you feel it you better say it before it’s too late.

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